I don't know whether to laugh or cry?

So, as the story goes.... ....Once upon a time.... there was a girl with OCD. Yes it's me. Anyway, I've struggled, everyday I get up and try hard, either to not be the person I was, not walk in the shoes of my example of motherhood, you know the story. But today the unfortunate happened. You see, I'm dog sitting my neighbors dogs and apparently when we leave I say their names back and forth; Dixie, Winnie, Winnie, Dixie just to register in my brain that they are inside and good to go. I used to do it with my dogs before I left for work everyday. You know to keep from having to go back and check, because that's what OCD is: Obsessing, Compusively! It's not an idiosyncrasy, it's a PAIN in the B_ tt!

Back to the story, today as we are leaving the neighbors house, Abba speaks up and says "Winnie, Dixie, Dixie, Winnie". I stopped. I was stunned! What did she just say? No, it couldn't. YES, she did. See, I didn't realize I had said it out loud, I don't even think I realized I was doing it again. Not conciously anyway. No matter how hard I try to be "better" I will still stumble and fall. Sometimes, they will hear me and sometimes they won't. The point is, I can't "cure" this myself. If I really want help, I have to ask through prayer, that I won't have OCD and that I won't corrupt my kids. And don't we all know we can't do that with out some Almighty Power our my side? I know I can't, so let us pray...

Dear Lord, thank you for helping me to laugh at myself in order to cry out for your help. Because, today and everyday I can't do it alone. I need you in all the ways I lack as a mother, friend, and wife. Please help me not to punish myself for failing, but to seek your guidance to become a daughter you would be proud of. Thank you for loving me and never giving up on me. Amen

Little Women

Well, it's late and I'm blogging. I just got home from seeing Little Women at McMurry. It was A M A Z I N G! A group of very, very talented singers (which I'm not). If I could have carried a tune I would have loved to have been on stage with them. I'd seen the movie years ago and didn't even know it was on BROADWAY. Christopher Columbus, who knew? One of my dear friends was the lead "Jo" and it was great to see her shining like a Star. I did run into a few people I know. That's what happens when you live in the same 4 walls your whole life. I guess that would be a good reason to never go anywhere without make-up but I've given up on that. Yes, I had make-up on tonight I just meant all the other times. Forget that, I'd have to buy stock in Lancome. Hey, not a bad idea, stocks are down it's time to BUY, BUY, BUY. ( A little plug for Cary ) Just thought I'd give my review in case you were looking for something to do this weekend or next weekend. Truly for me I love live performance, I guess it's from all those years dancing on stage. Give me a pair of broken in bloch's and I'm good to go. Who am I kidding?

Da Boyz

I guess I'm kidding myself when I say Matthew looks like me. Anyway, Mark got to take Matthew to a birthday party friday night, and it was just the boys. I was happy for Mark to get to see Matthew with his friends and see how he interacts with the kids and for Mark to get some social time with the parents. Over the past 6 years Mark has never taken either of the kids to a b-day party by himself. Of course, most parties are on Saturday and Mark works. He doesn't get the privelage of meeting all of Matthew's friends or their parents so it was good for him to become familiar with the "birthday circuit". Abba and I spent some time outside playing and then she went to bed early. Mark and Matthew didn't get home till after 11 pm. A little late for a 6 year old many would say but they got to watch a movie outside under the stars once it got dark. He had a great time and dadda was exhausted :) It was a campout sleepover party but we discussed it and decided not to let him sleepover. We know that a sleepover is in his near future but friday night wasn't it. Don't faint but I've only been away from Matthew for 5 nights of his life and 4 of those where when I was in the hospital having Abba and when she went back in for Jaundice. And we all know and thank Melissa for taking me to see Depeche Mode for the other one. Good Times. We are obviously a close nit and overly protective family. We know that sleepovers are in his near future so if you ask be prepared for my 50,000 ?'s... Do you have all your medicines, chemicals, knives and scissors stored away securely? Do you have weapons in your home? Are the locked in a safe or loaded under your bed? Do you have smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors in your home? Do you have a pool? What kind of TV do you watch in front of your kids and are they allowed on the internet? Do you leave your children unattended or unsupervised? Would you be taking them in a vehicle for any reason and do you have proper car seats? Are you more protective of other peoples children or your own?

At what point do people label me as a FREAK? Honestly, I can hear my dad laughing at me now. Lindi, seriously if they are raising/raised their own kids don't you think he would be fine for one night? I guess that's the question? At some point he will move off for college. :)

Shoes, Shoes, Shoes.....

Thanks Whitney for the "info". We went by Target and bought 9 pairs of shoes for $25. Oh Yeah, and Mark thinks he's cheap. We even got HotWheel, Speed Racer, Hello Kitty and Barbie. You better hurry over there before they are all gone. :) As we speak, the kiddos are trying them all on again and seeing how fast they can run in their new shoes.

Party Time

The kiddos had fun at Henry's 4th birthday party. The tumblebus is always a hit and the weather was perfect. It was a Super Cute Alligator Party! Thanks for inviting us. I have to say Maggie has such sweet friends. Everyone is always so nice and relaxed.

Major Milestone

For most of you I'm sure this is NO BIG DEAL, but for me it's HUGE. Matthew can now reach the light switch. For the past couple of months he's been doing the jump and shove action in order to turn it on but now on those cute tippie toes he can reach the light switch. It's just one of those growing up moments that creates more independence. Just something else I don't have to do a dozen times a day - turn on the light. Some of you might say just leave the light on but I'm trying to conserve energy. This milestone is almost twice as nice because he's so sweet he turns the light on for his sister too. What can I say it is the simple things.

This weekend we say Wall-E and it was wonderful! I highly recommend this movie. We also purchased new school backpacks. I decided to go ahead and get what they wanted while it was in stock instead of "shopping around" for the next month. I can't believe it's time for school supplies to be in stores. It seems like summer just started.

Speaking of summer what's your favorite season? I love summer, I love fall, I love winter and I love spring. I'm a season lover. I love the change of everything. I couldn't live in California when it's hot at Christmas. Ick. I love summer flip flops, fall decorations, icey storms and staying inside in the winter and beautiful flowers and green grass in the spring. Today was one of those great summer nights when the kids played with the neighbors in the sand and water until the mosquitos came out. Just about the time I'm sick of the heat it all starts over again with the sound of high school football and marching bands. If I had to pick it would be hard because really I do love the change, but I'd probably pick Winter. I love the winter holidays and the snow and the games we play at the kitchen table while being stuck inside and what about all that delicious food? Stew, beans and cornbread, Pot Roast, and Turkey and Dressing? Seriously!

I'm still working on being more at Peace this year and living in the moment. I still have a list of things to do that continues to grow instead of shrink but I am making progress. AND then I look over and my son can reach the light switch and it just reminds me of what's important.

Our 24 hour trip

This is at the Bed & Breakfast we stayed at
We had our own Chapel in the Woods
We spent the night in the railroad car
The horses came up to have breakfast with us
This is the river at the B & B
Our little Swiming Hole
Matthew
Abba

What are the odds of getting this photo of a wink and sticking his tongue out at me. HA
There are so many of them and they are so friendly you can feel their velvet.
I think he wanted some of my coffee
He definately wanted some of Abba's breakfast

Petting Zoo at Fossil Rim
Wildabeast
I think he wanted to get in the car and come home with us


I have to admit we all had fun on our trip. We crammed ALOT into 24 hours. The 1st night we ate at Soggy Dogs. It's a restaurant actually floating on the lake in Granbury. We also swam, hiked and fed the animals at the B & B.

The next day we enjoyed our tour at fossil rim. The animals were amazing. Afterwards we had a picnic lunch and went swimming in the paluxy river at the state park and spotted lots of dinosaur tracks. We also ate at a local barbecue place.

Needless to say the kids and I took a 2 1/2 hour nap yesterday. I highly recommend this as a mini vacation. It was tons of fun.

Do you remember when?

Maybe I was a little too excited to get out of town but when we passed this piggly wiggly on the way to our destination I took short walk down memory lane. Don't you remember piggly wiggly? Then along came Gibson's and Super Duper. It was just kind of funny to me. Mark just shook his head at me like oh my gosh you need to get out more. He was even more exasperated at me when on our way home I made him take this picture out the window as we drove by. Just another small town in Texas.

Another interesting thing we saw along the way was a dairy farm. No, not where they milk the cows where they breed them. There must have easily been over 200 black and white dairy calves. They were so cute I wanted to bring one home.